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Family Attraction

Controlling Thoughts

Families are important, however, families and close friends can cause harm and hurt, knowingly and unknowingly. Sometimes we call each other names in a jokey way, without meaning an insult, however when emotionally down, we tend to remember what people have called us, what our parents said to us that was negative, what our partners or friends said about us that was not pleasant.

"I feel so stupid, my mum was right, I am stupid, am dumb, how did I fail that test?"

Sometimes we do not even remember what has been said about us. However, we start playing it out in our thoughts, actions, and behaviour. These are all called laws of attraction, what you often say about yourself and others, manifest into reality.

A friend once had an enlightening moment after years of feeling strange, acting out, doing things he always thought he would not. Letting people down, abusing his partners and losing control. His light bulb moment happened after his Counsellor overheard his conversation on the mobile with his mother.

Mother: Hahaha boy your so mad hahaha Friend: Seriously mum you should have been there, it was so funny Mother: You are so silly Hahahahaha ...

When he got to the therapy room, he remembers his counsellor asking him what he thought "mad was" what he thought "stupid and silly meant". Other negative words he has been called was discussed and the list grew longer and longer.

When he got home he looked up in the Cambridge dictionary the meaning for some of the words he is commonly called by people he is close to or love.

Mad: Mentally ill, or unable to behave in a reasonable way

Silly: Showing little thought or judgment

Stupid: Showing poor judgment or little intelligence

Has a joke his mother called him silly, insane, stupid all his life, as a teenager, he did things most would consider stupid and silly, dangerous things that put himself and others in danger. He found it fun. As an adult these silly behaviours turned into an explosive outburst, he started behaving in mentally unbalanced ways, unsettled way (mad), when he got angry his past partners have described him as "a mad dog".

He finally realised it is not about blaming others for his past actions, he decided to do the things he did, however he was aware how his thoughts of himself impacted his behaviour, he learnt he can control himself, he now knew he could change for the better, it was all within his control.

We have to control as much of our thoughts, as possible, find the root of the negativity that is playing out in our lives.

There comes a time we have to move out all the negativity that has been spoken into our lives by others, ourselves, our thoughts and our fears.

Part of the way that is done is by verbally and visually speaking positivity into ourselves.

Remember: No more calling yourself stupid, no more calling yourself mad, no more allowing others to speak down to you in your present or your future and no more laughing at jokes that is negative.




Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. We hope you found it beneficial

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